In July, during break time of a co-working session, a discussion topic came up: What are you uncompromising with in your life?
I was the first to answer: “the people around me.”
The art of saying “no”
I’ve been increasingly selfish with my time. A while ago, I began initiating hangouts less often. I’ve become more mindful of who I spend my time with as my social domain naturally expands at this stage of life. The moment I find that a relationship doesn’t mutually suit one another, I gradually distance myself from them.
My mom criticized me for being adamant about skipping get-together meals or events with family friends[who are, in reality, barely acquaintances]. I’ve also indirectly rejected social opportunities that don’t really excite or interest me.
Question is, am I interacting with others the wrong way? Am I too self-centered with my time?💭
Elena’s (hot) take
I don’t think so. Being uncompromising is not directed towards others, but making decisions that are catered towards oneself. We should absolutely care for people around us, cherish them, and make them feel valued and loved. I never regret spending time with people when: We understand each other. We build each other up. We call each other out on our bullshit because we care about each other. We make each other happy. We love each other.
However, outside of our close circle of friends and connections, we also have the right to politely reject surface-level or “transactional” interactions. Every hour we spend alone or with other people produces an opportunity cost, and I believe we shouldn’t feel guilty for choosing the former option. It’s great to say “yes, let’s do it,” but there’s also nothing wrong with saying “no thanks” to an invitation.
Being uncompromising is not selfish; it is self-love.
Be authentic, be vulnerable
Elena 💓
refreshing to read :)
thanks for this short piece - keep posting. will take short form over perfected long-form :)